Becoming Bonnie Bennett
by esmeralda312
Summary: It's supposed to be a simple thing, falling in love with your best friend... But somehow nothing in Mystic Falls is ever so simple as it ought to be. (Belena romance that begins pre-canon, currently rated T but will become M in future chapters).
1. 01 Prologue

Loving Elena was always so easy. It came natural to Bonnie, like slipping on a pair of old gloves, or breathing.

She had no memory of the first time they'd met, but it was a story that Mrs. Gilbert told often. The way a tiny baby Bonnie had crawled over to comfort a fussy baby Elena, who had immediately grown quiet and stared at the newcomer in a way that Mrs. Gilbert described every time as "enraptured."

Bonnie secretly hated this story, not because of anything to do with Elena, but because Mrs. Gilbert would then go on to describe the way Abby Bennett had laughed to see the scene. A rich, elysian sound, she'd say.

After some years, Bonnie finally asked her what "elysian" meant, the vocabulary a bit much for the young girl. Elena's mother had thoughtfully said that it was the kind of laugh that made the whole world brighter, the kind of laugh that made your chest feel tight and ache with joy when you heard it.

Bonnie couldn't remember the way her mother's laugh sounded. She wouldn't have even known what she looked like if it weren't for pictures.

But Mrs. Gilbert was always so kind to her, inviting her over for dinner on the nights when Grams had to teach late classes. She went out of her way to make sure Bonnie felt as little as possible of the sting of Abby's absence and Rudy's neglect. Bonnie knew that Elena's mother didn't have to ask her how her day went every afternoon when she'd come home with Elena, and she certainly had no obligation to include Bonnie as a second daughter on career day.

One time when they were just becoming teenagers, she even dressed Elena and Bonnie in fancy party dresses and sat between them at the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. When the woman leaned over to Elena and told her in hushed tones how beautiful she would be dancing with her escort when she was old enough to enter, Bonnie murmured her agreement, imagining her best friend in a big poofy gown, twirling around the courtyard like a princess.

Mrs. Gilbert had turned to Bonnie and the smile on her face had been so bright that Bonnie thought she felt that mythical ache in her chest, that maybe she too could understand what "elysian" meant.

And so, she never asked Mrs. Gilbert to stop telling the story of how Bonnie met Elena.

* * *

They were fourteen when one of their slumber party bedtime snuggles somehow ended with Bonnie's lips pressed soft and tentative against Elena's. She held her breath and leaned back, afraid to open her eyes and see the look on her best friend's face.

She felt Elena's fingertips brush her cheek, and she blinked in surprise. Before her in the darkness, lit by the cool flickering of the muted television, Elena gave her a small, cautious smile.

They leaned into one another again, lips meeting with a little too much force. Bonnie clutched Elena's arm nervously.

Elena had kissed boys before, Bonnie knew of course. Boys always noticed the vibrant brunette, and it had taken some time for Bonnie to realize that she wasn't jealous of Elena, she was jealous of her suitors. She was stingy with her best friend, for reasons that grew clearer and clearer as their lips grazed and brushed together.

Later when Elena was fast asleep, Bonnie lay awake with an arm slung across her friend's waist. She marveled, reliving the moment on an endless loop, the memory of it playing across her skin like electricity. She had kissed Elena.

And Elena had kissed her back.

* * *

**A/N: ****This story has been in my head for a while, and it spawned from an epiphany I had about Bonnie's interactions with/martyrdom for Elena: her actions make a lot more sense in the context of a desperate, possibly unrequited, love affair than as platonic best friends. So from that seed grew this concept of what Bonnie Bennett's life would have been like if she had been in love with Elena all along. Of what the consequences would have been for the Mystic Falls universe at large.**

**This is AU, and though I'll be dipping in and out of canon elements from seasons 1 and a little of 2, the story won't be limited by it either. **

**Later chapters will earn the M rating, and I'll change the rating at that time.**

**I meant to get this ball rolling during Rainbow Bonnie Week on tumblr, but I am sloooow, lol. Anyway, really hope you guys like this! Love you, please R&amp;R!**


	2. 02 Halcyon Days

Grass tickled her legs as Bonnie shifted under the warmth of the sunlight that shone down upon them, dappled by the leaves above. She felt the soft fingers intertwined with her own give a gentle squeeze, and turned to the side to smile at Elena.

Elena smiled back.

The warm day cocooned them in a dreamy haze, stretched out on the quad of Whitmore College while Grams taught her 19th Century American Mythology class in a building nearby. The campus was quiet and lazy with the idleness of summer semester. A few students walked past them, but for the most part Bonnie and Elena were tucked away in their corner of the lawn, hidden from view.

Elena rolled over onto her stomach and edged closer to Bonnie so that their sides were pressed together. She pulled Bonnie's hand up to her lips and planted a soft kiss against it before twining their fingers again.

Bonnie felt a flutter in her stomach and propped herself up on her side, using her free arm for support. She drew her hand out of Elena's grasp and traced the line of her cheekbone. The single trailing finger then found its way into a fall of sleek brown hair, twirling there contentedly.

"What do you think it will be like when we`re in college?" Elena asked, turning back to stare up into the sky.

"Amazing, obviously," Bonnie replied. She watched the corner of Elena's lips curling into a broader smile. "We'll room together of course, and we'll skip all our classes and do whatever we want every day. We'll go everywhere, and see everything. And we can have movie nights every night, and no one will yell at us if we eat waffles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

Elena giggled. "We`d be good roommates."

"The best," Bonnie agreed.

Bonnie spent more time daydreaming about that future than she would have admitted. In her mind, she had already planned the layout of their dorm room furniture, even which side they would each take on the futon while snuggling and watching scary movies.

They had just finished their first year of high school. Bonnie was restless, tired of the smallness of their tiny town. While she enjoyed spending the time she did with Elena and sometimes Caroline, and all three of them were thrilled to have made the cheerleading squad, there was so much more that Bonnie wanted.

Mystic Falls was dull with tradition. Everyone was achingly predictable with their small talk and small opinions, and after a while it felt like having the same conversation over and over again, a dozen times a day.

Yes, her Grams was doing well, thank you. Yes, she was looking forward to the Founder`s Day parade. Wouldn`t you believe it, Caroline had roped her and Elena into working on the Sheriff Department`s float again this year. No, her father was in Santa Fe this time, Savannah was last month. Yes, it did look like rain.

After attending a few years, even the glitz of the Miss Mystic Falls pageant that had once captivated her seemed lackluster.

She longed for something bigger than their small town. She wished she didn't feel so isolated and alone. She couldn't go forever playing the sweet, demure cheerleader, all politeness and unruffled feathers. It was a role that Mystic Falls had boxed her into without a second thought, and she willingly played along... for now. She wanted to believe that there was a place where she could be herself, fearlessly.

Elena was her beacon of hope. Every moment spent with Elena was magic.

Bonnie fell onto her back beside Elena, staring into the sky contentedly. Behind the cover of the trees, she could see soft, lazy clouds floating along.

Ever since the night of their fateful slumber party, the two were even more inseparable than they'd been before. They savored what had become their secret.

For Elena, it was the most thrilling thing she had ever done. Maybe it was wrong to be affected by anyone else`s opinion, but she knew her staunch, traditional parents would never understand, and that made her want it all the more. The fact that Bonnie was with her on the adventure made it basically perfect.

For Bonnie, it was a lifeline.

One day she would have Elena to herself, and they would live a life far away from Mystic Falls, unfettered by its smallness.

She raised her open palm towards Elena, the fingers splayed and waiting. Elena reached up to grasp the offered hand and drew it back, pulling Bonnie snug against her with a grin.

It was like those Disney movies they used to watch religiously. Caroline was the most vocal of course, but Bonnie was the one who truly took them to heart.

But how could she explain back then that when she daydreamed, she wasn't the one lying silent in the bed? That she imagined leaning over that sleeping beauty, those lips that were as red as the red, red rose at last meeting her own to seal true love`s kiss?

On impulse, she closed her eyes and tilted her face towards Elena, and Bonnie was struck by the notion that nothing in the world could be more perfect than the way Elena's soft lips felt against her own.

For Bonnie, Mystic Falls was the tiny crumbling castle, beautiful but trapped by angry, thorny vines... inhabited by an oblivious populace who didn't even realize they were asleep.

One day she would tear down everything holding them back, and she and Elena would be free of the place forever.

* * *

The theater was dark, and the deep rumbling of bass echoed through the room as the climactic action scene unfolded on the screen.

Elena and Bonnie were in the back row, huddled together to one side. Neither of them could have explained the plot of the movie... They had spent the majority of the time with their lips locked, lost to everything in the world around them but each other.

Bonnie's hand roamed under Elena's tee shirt, massaging the cups of her soft cotton bra. Elena stifled a giggle against Bonnie's mouth as the warm fingers brushed her ticklish stomach.

Bonnie leaned harder over the unforgiving plastic armrest as Elena's lips made their way to her neck. She placed harder, sucking kisses there, and Bonnie felt every nerve ending in her skin pulse with electricity.

The room began to brighten, and the girls pulled apart from each other. The movie had ended, the credits had rolled, and everyone had left. They hadn't even noticed.

Smiling, Bonnie brought her fingertips to Elena's swollen lips, and Elena gave them a playful kiss.

"You wanna sneak into a different movie and do that again?" Elena suggested as they walked out of the deserted room.

"Maybe the same one even, since I have no idea what happened in it," Bonnie said, laughing.

Before Elena could respond, a loud voice interrupted them.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?"

Bonnie jumped, but when they turned it was only Caroline. Her mother stood in line at the other end of the lobby, buying snacks.

"I thought you guys were busy with that science project," the blonde continued, her voice betraying her hurt. "Did you make plans without me, again?"

"No, no of course not," Elena blustered.

Bonnie backed her up. "Yeah, we wrapped that up early, so we thought we'd just swing by to watch a movie, that's all."

Caroline frowned, unconvinced. "Yeah, okay. Look, just whatever, you guys. I'll see you in school Monday."

Bonnie and Elena watched her as she walked away.

"We'll have to do some damage control on Monday," Elena said.

Bonnie nodded, agreeing. She reached for Elena's hand, and linked their fingers together as they walked home.

* * *

"Aren't you two getting a little old for trick or treating?" Mrs. Gilbert asked, smiling innocently.

The girls turned to her with matching expressions of utter indignation.

"You're never too old for Halloween!" Bonnie cried.

"Really, Mom, everybody knows that." Elena tossed her hair with exaggerated haughtiness.

Elena's mother sat in the middle of a pile of fabric. "Well, common knowledge or not, I have to tell you girls that I may be a bit out of my league with this pattern."

Seated at her feet, Bonnie clutched a length of glittery green fabric.

"You'll come through for us, I know you will," Elena said encouragingly. "Besides, we`re wearing the tank tops like you said, so really you just have to do the bottoms!"

"Have you ever sewn a pair of fins, young lady?" She stared at her daughter expectantly.

Elena refused to meet her eye. Bonnie tried and failed to hide her smile, shaking her head.

"I didn't think so," Mrs. Gilbert continued. "Did you know that my mother taught me to sew when I was nine? Maybe you two should be the ones doing this."

This was answered with a shouted chorus of "No!"s and "Please!"s that seemed far too loud for just two girls. They were both on their feet, tugging on the woman dramatically.

"We can't be mermaids with messed up tails," Bonnie shuddered.

"Yeah Mom, you do it, and they`ll be perfect. You're the best at it, maybe ever."

Bonnie nodded, agreeing.

"Laying it on a little too thick, darling, but flattery always was my one weakness," Mrs. Gilbert said. She looked at the fabric crookedly and sighed. "You two are going to be the most beautiful mermaids Mystic Falls has ever seen."

Elena kissed her mother on the cheek.

While Mrs. Gilbert began pinning the thin tissue template to the cloth, Bonnie explained that that was really saying something. Her Grams had told her that the mermaids that lived in the lake at the back edge of the Lockwood property were so beautiful that they tricked Tyler`s great-great-great-grandfather. He walked right into the water where he promptly drowned, to the creatures' delight.

Mrs. Gilbert laughed lightly. "Sheila always did tell the most fantastic stories! I wish I could borrow her muse sometimes. I've had the worst case of writer`s block lately."

Elena giggled. Bonnie laughed too, though a part of her had always believed the story was true.

* * *

One consequence of living in such a small town was that there wasn't a whole lot around for a teenager to do for fun.

Bonnie and Elena had therefore made a habit of exploring. In Mystic Falls, where nothing ever happened, no one thought twice about two girls wandering around, looking for trouble. Because no one expected them to actually find it.

Their favorite was finding places that were undone, either being built or falling apart. Between the new suburban developments and the antebellum ruins scattered through the woods, they had their pick of locales.

There was something about an empty space, Bonnie had decided. Their stories were just begging to be told.

In these places, the girls created worlds for themselves.

The caves behind the Lockwood estate became safe havens, rocks and trinkets stuffed into the crannies of the crumbling rock. The new houses that rose higher and higher into the sky became palaces.

The newer structures smelled of sawdust and fresh roofing tar, and the bare floors scuffed under their shoes as they walked, but they were like blank canvases in that way. Each room was a new adventure: a grand ballroom bedecked with glittering chandeliers, the dark and treacherous hold of a pirate ship at sea, the blindingly lit stage where they played air guitar and an invisible crowd of thousands gathered to scream praises at their feet.

The last house they would explore was a large new residence being built at the edge of the Lockwood property. Tall columns rose all around the expansive building, sheltering a matched pair of balconies, one in the front and one behind.

Inside, a pair of wide, spiraling staircases soared across the foyer. They were unfinished, and large gaps were visible between the exposed slats of wood.

A breeze filtered through the open doorway, ruffling the hem of Bonnie's dress. Something felt... off, but she couldn't put a finger on it.

"Let's go up to the balcony! We can do Beauty and the Beast this time," Elena said.

"I don't know," Bonnie hesitated, eyeing one of the precarious staircases with its missing railing. "Besides, does that mean I have to be Beast?" She wrinkled her nose.

Belle was Elena's favorite Disney princess growing up, and Bonnie knew she wasn't likely to relinquish the role.

"Hmm, yeah I guess that's not fair," Elena giggled. "What about Juliet and Juliet?"

"Juliet, Juliet, wherefore art thou Juliet?" Bonnie grinned. "You really wanna get up to that balcony, don't you?"

Elena nodded enthusiastically. "We can imagine anything you want, as long as it's balcony-related."

Bonnie heaved an exaggerated sigh and gave in, bounding towards the stairs. Elena ran after her.

Halfway to the second floor, Bonnie felt the stairs swaying beneath her feet. She opened her mouth to tell Elena to be careful just as she heard the brunette gasp.

Without even pausing to think, Bonnie swung her arm out and back behind her, gripping the fabric of Elena's cardigan. The material stretched but held, and Bonnie realized that Elena was leaning far out over where the railing should have been.

If not for Bonnie's grasp, she would have toppled to the concrete below.

"Oh my god," Elena groaned, using Bonnie's arm to pull herself upright again.

Bonnie shuddered to imagine what could have just happened, in the blink of an eye. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah... thanks to you." She wrapped her arms around Bonnie. "My knight in shining sundress."

Bonnie giggled, feeling Elena's hands scrunching the cotton against her abdomen. Then she felt the stairs shift beneath them again. "Um, let's get upstairs now."

Elena nodded, and they disentangled themselves from one another. They slowly picked their way up the rest of the stairs.

When they finally found the back balcony, the sun was hanging low in the sky before them.

"Oh look, this house is right on the lake," Elena observed. The bottom edge of the brilliant disc barely nudged the horizon, its shining face reflected in ripples across the surface of the water.

Elena turned to Bonnie, the golden light sparkling in her brown eyes. Bonnie stared out across the lake, and Elena smiled at her with affection.

"It's beautiful," Bonnie murmured breathlessly.

Elena didn't give her a chance to catch her breath. She gripped her arm and pulled her forward, colliding her lips hard against her own, swallowing her squeak of surprise.

Bonnie's felt whatever air that remained there leave her lungs, felt her body grow weightless, felt herself floating towards that hovering sun. The feeling of Elena's fingers pressed against her hip was the only thing keeping her anchored to that balcony, she was sure of it.

She gasped when Elena moved, her lips brushing along Bonnie's jaw and pressing a line of kisses to the hollow beneath her ear.

"Sin from thy lips? Oh, trespass sweetly urged... Give me my sin again," Bonnie breathed.

Elena leaned back and stared at Bonnie, amused. "Mrs. Flowers would be so impressed."

Bonnie giggled. "I guess freshman English wasn't a total waste aft-"

Both girls startled and turned as a loud dragging noise echoed behind them, inside the empty house. It sounded like someone was shoving a heavy piece of furniture, scratching and scraping the wooden floor. But there wasn't any furniture in that house.

"Did you hear that?" Elena whispered.

Bonnie nodded, biting her lip. The sun had nearly disappeared, and a heavy dusk fell over them, bathing the house in grey shades of twilight. With it came a heavy sense of foreboding. "I don't like it..."

A splash drew their attention back to the lake, large concentric ripples forming at a spot near shore.

At nearly the same moment, the dragging noise emanated through the house again, even louder, closer. A woman's voice laughed, harsh and rasping.

Bonnie screamed.

Panicked, the girls looked at each other and made the simultaneous decision to get out of dodge. They rushed to escape, tumbling haphazardly through the empty halls and down the stairs, somehow managing to fly together through the missing front door without breaking their necks.

They kept running until the house was completely out of sight. Doubled over, the girls leaned against a fence, each trying to catch their breath.

"What the hell was that?" Bonnie gasped.

Elena shook her head, still panting. "Maybe it was just the wind?"

The girls paused and stared at one another. They burst into giggles, hearts still racing and adrenaline pumping hard through their veins.

Laughing, they fell against each other and into a heap on the ground, a mess of tangled limbs as they struggled even more to breathe.

"Just the wind, you've got to be kidding me," Bonnie said. She turned to find Elena was grinning.

"I know we thought we were going to die for a second, but... it was kind of exciting, wasn't it?" Elena asked, her face flushed.

"No no no, we are never going back there," Bonnie said firmly, shaking her head.

But when Elena began to pout, Bonnie knew she was wrong about that.

* * *

**A/N: Hi, lovelies! I don't know what happened, I blinked and two months have passed without an update on this. And you all are so amazing with responding to this story, when I really worried this story would be written to no audience at all. I'm so sorry!**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter though, these are kind of Bonnie and Elena's halcyon days, so I'm trying to get as many good times in before… well, you'll see. Ominous enough for ya? (: Please R&amp;R, I love you guys!**


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